28th May 2007

The British are obsessed by the weather, non more so than on bank holiday weekends (Public holidays). All week long the forecasters were predicting colder temperatures and rain for our Spring Bank Holiday. They were not wrong, yesterday was one on the wettest days of the year todate.

It is not surprising that nearly two million Britons jetted overseas for the bank holiday weekend.
Travel agents say Florida and Spain are the most popular destinations, along with cities like Paris and Rome.

Sunday was the "Global Day of Prayer", if they prayed for fine weather, they failed miserably.

Continuing on a religious note, Archbishop Desmond Tutu commenting on the current Anglican rift over homosexuality, said: "What is sad to me is that we are investing so much time and energy in the subject of homosexuality at a time when the world is groaning from poverty, disease and corruption.". In other words get over it and move on to more important matters.

Archbishop Tutu was in Sussex this week at Lancing College, a public (Private school in USA) school to dedicate a new window in the chapel to his friend, Father Trevor Huddleston.

For the second year in a row, an attempt to hold a Gay Pride March in Moscow despite a ban by the city's mayor, (who had called such demonstrations "satanic") was broken up by police and special riot militia. The gay contingent was violently attacked by anti-gay ultra-nationalists and fascists, who threw punches and bottles. Among those reported arrested so far was British gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell.

Mr Tatchell was punched in the face by a young man, and police have said they are investigating the assault.

Now we have a cow that produces ready skimmed milk, "Marge The Marvel" (Marvel is a brand of skimmed milk powder in the UK). Marge was born with a genetic peculiarity – her milk was found to be much lower in fat when compared to the milk of other cows. What sets Marge aside from other Friesian cows is that the level of protein in her milk is normal, the level of fat in the milk is lower than normal, and the fat that is produced is much more unsaturated and with very high levels of omega 3 oils.

Talking of cows, The Queen is to sell her pedigree herd of Ayrshire cattle because of low milk prices. The herd which resides at Windsor was established in 1951 by King George VI and passed on to his daughter shortly after his death. She will retain her herd of Jersey Cows which has supplied the Royal Family with milk since 1849. This herd is more viable because the Jersey milk is used to produce clotted cream and ice-cream. High satuated fat content. !!!

All is not well in the Civil Service, members have been attacked while visiting the smallest room. Health and safety officials are warning about the danger of LOO ROLL HOLDERS!

Several workers at the Department for Education and Skills were bashed on the head when empty dispensers sprang open. The menace lurking in the lavs has prompted civil service chiefs to issue an emergency alert urging people to take extra care.

One office wag quipped:

"We are getting bogged down with paperwork!"

26th May 2007

Jenny Bailey & Jennifer Liddle,

Transgender Mayor & Mayoress of Cambridge

Cambridge, one of England's leading university cities is full of pomp and history. For 800 years a colourful roll-call of men and women have taken the honourable post of the Mayor of Cambridge. But when Jenny Bailey donned the red mayoral robes at a ceremony in the Guildhall this week, not only will she become Cambridge's 801st first citizen, but Britain will have its first transgender mayor.. The 45-year-old Liberal Democrat, who underwent gender reassignment when she was in her thirties, will be helped in her civic duties by Jennifer Liddle, her long-term partner, who is also transgender. The former councillor will accompany her as the mayoress. Talk about liberal Britain, we are moving faster than we think.

Madame Tussauds the famous London wax works, unveiled a new environmentally friendly wax figure of Prince Charles this week to reflect his efforts to combat climate change.

To create its first "green" figure, workers recycled wax from a 1989 figure of the Prince of Wales and updated it with 82 pounds of organic beeswax, 55 pounds of clay and fiberglass. Artists used organic pigments to colour the skin.

The wax Prince Charles is wearing a tailored gray suit, a periwinkle dress shirt, a red-and-green striped tie and black shoes. It cost $298,000 to make, which is comparable to the average cost of a figure. The green Prince Charles figure is part of a new, $2 million exhibit of the royal family launched Wednesday.

The world is going surveillance mad. Traffic wardens in Manchester are being given some fancy new headgear that lets them film what they get up to as they patrol the city's streets. The wardens are among the first in the country to start wearing mini video cameras attached to their hats. Their bosses say the cameras are needed to record evidence that shows the tickets they give out are fair and to catch the people who attack wardens. Who would ever think of parking illegally or attacking a Traffic Warden, Heaven Forbid. If So Watch out for Big Brother.

A British lady gave birth to a baby girl this week in record time. Just two minutes and the deed was done. The proud Dad said, "The midwife rushed her into a room and on a bed. Palak pushed once and the baby popped out. It was incredible." Now that's what l call Express Delivery.

Lord Bath owner of The Cheddar Caves

Cheese lovers tasted the first authentic hand-made cave-matured Cheddar cheese for over 100 years this week. The world's most popular cheese was invented 1,000 years ago using milk from cows grazing pastures around Cheddar Gorge in Somerset and then matured in its famous caves.
However, the tradition of cave maturing - which gives the cheese a unique flavour according to the air in each darkened cavern - fell from favour at the beginning of last century due to cost constraints. But Britain's new-found appetite for quality food has boosted the cottage industry and now the Cheddar Gorge Cheese Company has begun cave maturing once more.

Merchant venturers, Pilgrim Fathers, transported convicts and British redcoats took it with them to the four corners of the world - and now it's made and eaten everywhere.

24th May 2007

Many of you will have heard of the Annual London to Brighton Vintage car run that is held each yea in November. Perhaps fewer will have heard of the London to Brighton Mini Run, held this past weekend. Now in in 22nd Year thousands of Mini drivers descended on Brighton to line their cars up along the seafront. According to the organisers, about 10,000 people turned up with 2,500 cars.

One of the events of the afternoon is "Show and Shine"

Don't know what they mean.

One of the last acts Tony Blair will do as Prime Minister is to order two new planes costing £100 MILLION for The Queen and PM-in-waiting Gordon Brown.

Sources say Mr Blair has come under pressure from Buckingham Palace to press ahead with the deal, which includes a 70-seat Airbus and a 15-seat executive jet. Both aircraft will be bought — or leased — on the second-hand market. The cost is the same as the price for leasing British Airways Boeing 777s over the decade, as Mr Blair currently does.

Both aircraft will have the latest security devices and can destroy incoming anti-aircraft missiles. A sophisticated communications suite will allow the PM to hold top secret conference calls.

I guess this is part of carbon-offset - Big Smile.

Michael Jackson arrived in the UK this week as a guest of HRH Prince Azim of Brunei who is such a big fan of the singer, that he is actually paying Jackson a whopping 5 million pounds ($9.85 million) - just to attend his 25th birthday bash this weekend in the UK.

A pal of the Prince said "Absolutely no expense is being spared for his party - Michael Jackson is his all-time idol and he said he'd pay whatever it took to get him over" Even though Michael won't be performing, the very fact that he'll be in this stately home mingling with all of the Prince's pals makes it worth every penny to Azim," the source said.

Prince Azim is the son of the Sultan of Brunei, and is fourth in line to the throne.

It's not so much sex that Aussie men and women think about, but foreplay. As a part of the K-Y Touch Intimacy Poll, researchers surveyed 5000 adult Australians, and to their surprise found that 82 percent of women, and 52 percent of men felt that intimacy, i.e. foreplay, was better than sex. What age were the sample surveyed. Another ten years on and talking about it may come at the top of the list.

Carlos and Fernando, are pink flamingo's in more ways than one. The Gay old birds have been together for 6 years and during that time have been seen trying to appropriate other birds' nests in a desire to become parents.

Keepers at the Wildfowl & Wetlands Trust in Slimbridge, near Bristol, thought of Carlos and Fernando when another flamingo abandoned its nest with an egg still in it.

When the egg hatched in an incubator before the pair could take over, the keepers carefully taped the new chick into a discarded eggshell before delivering it chez Carlos and Fernando.

"Parents usually first bond with their chicks as they're hatching and calling from inside the egg," trust officials wrote on their Web site.

"So to help Carlos and Fernando bond with their new chick, WWT staff took an old eggshell, carefully popped the newborn chick inside, taped it up and returned it to Carlos and Fernando's empty nest. The pair were soon seen "talking" to the chick inside the egg and a little while later the chick hatched for a second time -- but this time to be greeted by its loving foster parents."

21st May 2007

One of London's most popular tourist attractions caught fire in the early hours of this morning.
The Cutty Sark, the world's last surviving 19th century tea clipper, was severely damaged in a blaze that is believed to be arson. The fire broke out 4:45 a.m. and quickly spread through the timber and iron ship. The fire broke out 4:45 a.m. and quickly spread through the timber and iron ship.

The fire, which is now under control, spread to the whole of the three-deck vessel, which is undergoing a £25 million refurbishment. Luckily, if that is the correct term, fifty per cent of the ship had been removed for restoration work prior to the fire. This includes the masts and historical artefacts from the ship.

The Brighton Festival is in full swing. Each May for three weeks Brighton opens it doors to the Artistic world. Artists of all fields descend on the town. The town is transformed with temporary structures to house all the differing forms of entertainment. Mundane spaces are transformed to theatres, the streets come alive with street performers and parades.

One of the more bizarre venues is the Udder Belly Tent currently pitched on the lawn close to Brighton Pavilion. Last night we ascended to the upper level of the Old Ship Hotel's parking garage, which had been transformed into an intimate theatre in the round. The Maids, in which two servants are trapped in a love/hate relationship with their mistress. In this production the director has the three actors swap roles nightly, to see the true effect of this you would have to see the play three times and once was enough.

The Maids was billed as taking part on the back stairs of the Old Ship Hotel so we went along expecting an interactive play where you moved around to different parts of the hotel interacting with the performers as we had done years ago in a magnificent evening at the derelict Ocean Hotel. We were a tad disappointed to say the least.

I guess we are a chocolate loving nation. It was only last week that a trailer load of chocolate was nicked from a factory. This week the Choco News focuses on Mars, who announced last week that Mars Bars were no longer going to be "Vegi Friendly". However the Vegetarians, leaves have been lifted and Mars has now abandoned plans to use animal products in its chocolate, and has apologised to "upset" vegetarians.

Mars said it became "very clear, very quickly" that it had made a mistake. In just one week, more than 6,000 people bombarded the company with complaints.

There are believed to be over three million vegetarians in the UK.

Give me Bacon to Beans Anyday.

British Airways has banned staff from using microwaves for non-airline food after an exploding curry cost the company £20, 000 in damages.

An air hostess caused chaos on a flight from Heathrow to Miami after her ready meal blew up at 35, 000ft.

It has long been whispered that Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are gay.

19th May 2007

History is being made today as l write this. The kick off is just about to happen in the 2007 FA Cup final. For those of you "Across the Pond", FA is the Football Association and The FA Cup is the oldest football competition in the world, commencing in 1871-72. Because it involves clubs of all standards playing against each other there is the possibility for "giant-killers" from the lower divisions to eliminate top clubs from the tournament, though lower division teams rarely reach the final. A record 687 teams were accepted into the FA Cup in 2006-2007.

It is a case of old history meeting history in the making. The Cup today will be held for the first time in the new Wembley Stadium, only opened earlier this year.

Lulu has just advised me that Lesley Garrett is performing "Abide with Me" at the opening ceremony and that programmes for the event are £10 ($20) . Prince William has just declared the event open and the RAF (Royal Air Force) Red Arrows are performing a fly past.

As you will gather, l am not a football fan, hence l am spending the match time writing this. LOL

A subject l am much more familiar with is food and l heard this morning that this week is British Sandwich Week. Did you know it's exactly 245 years since the sandwich came into being? Although various forms of Sandwich existed for many hundreds of years. It's modern form was named after the 4th Earl of Sandwich, an 18th-century English aristocrat, It is said that Lord Sandwich was fond of this form of food because it allowed him to continue playing cards, particularly cribbage, while eating without getting his cards sticky from eating meat with his bare hands.

Thinking of food that was hand held led me onto the "Cornish Pasty" . For centuries the Cornish have been filling their famous pasties with almost any ingredients that you would care to think of. The traditional filling is, of course, beef and potato, usually with slices of onion and swede mixed in as well. Cornwall is the south-west tip of England, location of "Land's End", England's equivalent to "The Southernmost Point" Cornwall was also home to Britain's tin mining industry.

The pasty originally evolved to meet the needs of tin miners who would spend the day underground mining. It was easy to eat with ones fingers. Tradition has it that the original pasties contained meat and vegetables in one end and jam or fruit in the other end, in order to give the hardworking men 'two courses'.

"Across the Pond" in Wisconsin, the locals have been enjoying finger licking food of another Sphere. For only $5 you could stuff your face with all-you-can-eat goat, lamb and bull testicles at the ninth annual Testicle Festival at Mama's Place Bar and Grill in Elderon in central Wisconsin.

They must be NUTS.

17th May 2007

Prince Harry will not be sent to Iraq because of the "unacceptable risks", the head of the British army has said. The announcement, which represents a U-turn on an earlier decision, was made amid reports militant groups in Iraq planned to kill or kidnap the prince. Clarence House said Prince Harry was "very disappointed" but would not be leaving the Army as a result.

France has just appointed a new President Nicolas Sarkozy, he will serve for the next five years.
It only seems like yesterday that General De Gaul ruled France. But all is not well in south-west France where a Catholic Priest has been forced out of the clergy after admitting to the Church authorities that he was having a sexual relationship with one of his parishioners. For the past 22 years, the couple have been in a sexual relationship, which is forbidden to a Catholic priest who has vowed to remain celibate. Fr Leon admits he has broken his promise but claims that being in love has brought him closer to God and his congregation. My question is why now after 22 years has he been thrown to the Pope.

Are you a chocoholic. If you are and live in the north of England you could be accused of stealing about 250,000 chocolate bars. Police said £140,000 ($275,000) worth of Cadbury Flake bars, packed in a lorry trailer, had been taken. I have never seen flakes in America, but they are used extensively over here stuck into a type of ice cream cone call " 99 "

Eighty young men have been arrested at a birthday party in Iran under suspicion of being gay. Security forces stormed a birthday party and arrested every person there. The partygoers were beaten with batons before they were taken into custody. As yet there is no evidence to support the idea of the men being gay. The men are being held for participating in a party with alcoholic drinks, music and dancing. The maximum punishment for adultery and gay sex is death, and teenage boys as young as 15 are eligible for the death penalty.

14th May 2007

Bluebells are one of the great delights of May in England, carpets of blue lay in wooded areas of the English Countryside. The weekend was Bluebell Weekend, however you could think that you had been mistaken most of the bluebells have finished. Such has been the weather in England that the gardens are in a frenzy and completely out of synch with natures calendar.

Wisteria is normally flowers in early June, this wisteria picture was taken three weeks ago just after we crossed back over the pond from Key West. Needless to say the wind and now taken it's toll and the blooms are long gone.

More than 10 million viewers tuned in to watch the climax of the Eurovision song contest despite the UK's dismal showing in the contest. The UK came second from the bottom with only 19 points. Serbian singer Marija Serifovic has won the Song Contest with a massive 268 Points beating Ukrainian drag queen Verka Serdyuchka into second place. Russia was third, with Turkey fourth and Bulgaria fifth. Seems like you had to be in the Eastern block to be part of the "In" crowd.

Please don't stand with your hand on hip as Caruso is doing here, it is now know as a "Half Doris", of course both hands on hip have become a "Full Doris"

Prince's William and Harry had a bit of a fashion crisis this weekend when they were spotted out in Hyde Park yesterday. They joined hundreds of former and serving soldiers for the annual Combined Cavalry Old Comrades Association parade. Thirty years ago when l was training in the City of London, Bowler Hats were the uniform of the day for City Gents.

When British visitors arrive in the US on vacation it is not unusual to receive a not too pleasant welcome from the men and women of The US Immigration Service. I have even heard British Visitors state that they will never return to the US because of the treatment received by these officials. This of course is very unfair as once you clear the airport the welcome received by Americans is almost always charming and gracious.

With ten American airports set to take electronic prints from every finger of foreign arrivals - not just the two index fingers as at present - there are fears even more travellers will shun the States.
This is all about to change however, officials are responding to the criticism by employing Disney's recipe for tirelessly upbeat and helpful customer service in an attempt to get the free-spending British back, particularly with the pound at nearly two dollars.

Immigration officers will be taught the secrets of Disney theme parks by learning how to welcome visitors, manage large queues and respond to 'negative reaction' from the public without letting their smiles slip.

Disney should then move on to Alamo in Miami airport.

12th May 2007

Do you compost. If not - Why Not. This is the question being asked all over England this week. It is the seventh annual Compost Awareness Week. Compost Awareness Week aims to encourage more people to recognise the benefits of home composting and the great results that can be achieved by using peat-free composts containing recycled materials in the garden. As a nation we produce around 30 million tonnes of rubbish each year and over half of this waste can be easily recycled. In fact, over one third of the contents of an average UK household dustbin can be home composted, not to mention all the garden waste that can be added to a compost bin. Yet many people still do not recognise how important and simple this is to do. Wow bet you didn't know that.

After you have done your composting, get yourself a nice big sugary donut to celebrate - it is also National Donut week. It doesn't get more exciting that this.

Unless of course you intend to do a bit of Kerb Crawling this weekend. The Home Office and police have launched an advertising campaign to cut down on the amount of Kerb Crawling in six of Britain's largest cities. Kerb crawlers are being warned the price of street sex is high -The series of radio advertisements will carry warnings that kerb crawlers could face arrest, a court appearance, warning letters to their home, a £1,000 fine and a driving ban, as well as bringing shame to their family, friends and employers. - Who would guess.

An American Superman took to the skies in Edinburgh this week. The kilt-wearing daredevil flying a jet-pack in Edinburgh's Princes Street was licensed to thrill. Shoppers stared in astonishment and some covered their ears to the deafening roar as American stuntman Eric Scott became a flying Scotsman for 33 seconds in front of the castle. Eric, from Colorado, was promoting a new energy drink. The adrenaline junkie rose 40 feet into the air in his jet-pack before settling back down. Eric, 44, said: "It's the greatest buzz in the world."

If you lived in the UK some of you would be thrilled by the frenzy caused by "The Eurovison Song Contest", being held in Helsinki tonight. Millions of Europeans will tune in to watch the annual Eurovision Song Contest, a curious three-hour television set piece that blends ethnic rhythms, boy bands and bubble-gum pop. Contestants from 24 countries have reached the final, with most bookmakers listing Ukrainian drag queen Verka Serduchka and his dance tune "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" as favourite to win.

Get That. Meanwhile Britains entry Scooch is just as camp

Play Both Together it is too funny

Almost like the 801

Just when you thought this country could not get more crazy, we here today that animal lovers are pushing bread through a letterbox of an empty house to feed a trapped pigeon. The poor bird somehow got into the empty house and is unable to escape. The RSPCA and Police are unable to enter the house without the permission of the owner. Guess it was a homing pigeon.

10th May 2007

Tony Blair our Prime Minister has announced he will stand down as prime minister after 10 years leading the government. In an emotional speech, Mr Blair said he had been prime minister for 10 years which was "long enough" for the country and himself. So the battle will begin for a new Labour leader, but many think that Gordon Brown will get it automatically. We will see.

The BBC is to put it's TV shows and radio on the net. Programmes will be available online from the moment they are broadcast and during a seven day catch up period. It will also be possible to download an entire series near the end of it's run. Viewers will then have 30 days to view it before it is automatically wiped from their computer. The iPlayer service which could be up and running by November, will be free to use.

Spare a thought for the South African man that was stripped, then superglued to his exercise bicycle while his house was ram sacked.

We heard this week that a "Super Aquarium" is to be build in the UK at the cost of £400 million that is $800 million. The National Institute into Aquatic Habitats - will house an aquatic theme park and the world's largest freshwater aquaria.

Berlin Germany's capital this week dispatched tax inspectors into establishments such as Lust Land to drum up revenue from the city's 7,000 sex workers. "Prostitution is a strong economic sector in the capital, the tax inspectors were dispatched with clipboards and stopwatches studying financial turnover. Prostitution was legalised in Germany in 2002. This allowed brothel owners to provide more hygienic conditions of work and prostitutes became eligible for pensions and health insurance.

But the quid pro quo was that prostitutes should fill in annual tax returns. So far only a handful have been doing so.

A country pub in North Yorkshire is taking on an American fast food giant which claims it is using one of its trademark phrases.The Tan Hill Inn, the highest pub in England, has been told by Kentucky Fried Chicken to remove the words "family feast" from its menu.

KFC's lawyers said the company owned the copyright to the wording. However, the Swaledale pub's landlords said they would fight to use the term to describe their Christmas meal.

7th May 2007

What a difference a week makes. Last Monday afternoon l sat overlooking the sea in sunshine that rivalled Monte Carlo or Key West, this Monday you can hardly stand up outside for the wind and rain. Of course today is a Bank holiday (public holiday) so that explains it all.

Public holidays are like buses, you wait forever for one to come along and then they all come together. We had Easter, now May Day and in two weeks time we have a third one. Then we have to wait until the end of August for the next one. - Quite Crazy.

Our Queen, is concluding her six-day trip, the queen's fifth "Across the Pond" in 50 years but her first since 1991 when George Bush Snr was President. During a visit to Washington. President Bush is welcoming Queen Elizabeth to the White House with an uncharacteristic display of high pomp.

The Queen and Prince Philip, were greeted this morning with a 21-gun salute and a parade by the U.S. Army's Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps, attended by 7,000 guests, on the White House's South Lawn.

In honour of the queen, President Bush will host the first white-tie dinner of his presidency this evening.

This tour is the Queen's first carbon-offset state visit, where a donation is made to an environmental charity to offset the plane journeys made by the royal party.

Total air miles - 13,317 km or 8,275 miles
Amount of Co2 emitted based on scheduled flights - 1. 5 tonnes
Estimated offset cost per person - £13.20 to £14.18 ($26.22-$28.17) depending on type of offset package

Just up the road from us, worried police sealed off one of Sussex's busiest roads to blow up a box they thought was a terrorist bomb. Sussex Police evacuated homes and shut the busy A23 at Pease Pottage over fears the box next to the dual carriageway could contain explosives.

An Army bomb team was brought in and they blew up the package - The device turned out to be a Bat Box , The £1,000 ($ 2000) bat detector, which monitors the nocturnal creature's calls, was put under the bridge as part of a survey of the endangered creatures. - Batty Behaviour.

Sir Ian McKellen's King Lear at The Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford upon Avon sees the 67-year-old actor take his clothes off during the storm scene. It's a move completely justified by the text.

Lear says:
"Unaccommodated man is no more but such a poor, bare, forked animal as thou art. Off, off you lendings! Come; unbutton here" - and Shakespeare's stage directions read "tearing off his clothes".

However it has left some of the audience shocked. We are not sure if was the fact the a 67 year old was running about "au natural" or the fact that Sir Ian is rumoured to be rather well endowed.

5th May 2007

The Queen is making her first visit "Across the Pond" for 16 years. On Friday, she and Prince Philip visited the Jamestown Fort, which is a reconstruction of the building built by English settlers. Today She will realise a long-held ambition when she attends the famous Kentucky Derby horse race in the US.

The Queen, who is a keen horse racing enthusiast, has visited Kentucky four times before but not been to the race. Workers at the course at Churchill Downs, Louisville, have had etiquette lessons, and a special menu has been prepared for the royal visit.

From the pictures in the British press she looks so relaxed and happy to be visiting America.

The sh_t hit the fans this week for BP's chief executive, Lord Browne, who resigned on Tuesday after a judge criticised him for lying about how he met his former lover Jeff Chevalier. Lord Browne had been trying to stop a Sunday newspaper printing an interview with Mr Chevalier, and has since called his sexuality a personal matter "to be kept private".

It appears that Lord Browne, told the court that he had met his former lover Jeff Chevalier whilst out jogging, it transpired that he met on a gay contact website. It is the fact that he lied to the court that has led to his downfall and not the fact that he is gay. However, Some observers say there is a "pink plateau" in British business that prevents gay people reaching its highest echelons.

Jeff Chevalier worked as a rent boy in Canada before coming to London. He lived with Lord Browne for around four years before the break-up and it appears that he was trying to tell his "Kiss and Tell" story to a Sunday Newspaper.

3rd May 2007

Until last week l had never hear Boy Butter. Boy Butter made history in December of 2005 when Boy Butter's chemists created an industry first, the first stable water based cream form personal lubricant ever. Traditionally cream lubricants are oil based and therefore not conducive to safe sex.

The makers of 'Boy Butter', were a little nervous about launching their first TV ad campaign, so they chose markets with a high gay (and presumably gay-friendly) population. They got the OK from every city except San Francisco. Which seems very strange considering the gay population in the Golden Gate City.

This will be the first gay personal lubricant commercial on TV The 30 second ad spoofs an iconic campaign from the early 90s, featuring only the hands of two men and a voice-over of playful banter tinged with mild sexual innuendo. One hand applies the Boy Butter as both men exchange a knowing giggle. The 30 second ad spoofs an iconic campaign from the early 90s, featuring only the hands of two men and a voice-over of playful banter tinged with mild sexual innuendo. One hand applies the Boy Butter as both men exchange a knowing giggle.

Now the maker of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is suing the maker of two personal lubricants for infringing on its trademark in New York. Unilever calls for Boy Butter . to stop production of the lubrication products, to recall all their products currently on store shelves and to turn over their profits.

Sounds a little messy.

30th April 2007

So you think that gay rights is something new, well think again. A passionate defence of gay rights written more than two centuries before homosexuality became legal has been discovered. An academic has unearthed a scroll written by a pioneering gay activist that dates back to the 18th century. A handwritten parchment indicting the printer of Thomas Cannon's 1749 book, Ancient And Modern Pederasty Investigated And Exemplified, was recently found at the National Archive in Kew.

The book, which was suppressed immediately after its publication, appears to be an anthology of stories and philosophical texts in defence of male homosexuality. The printer had to flee to continental Europe to avoid punishment and no copies of the book itself survive.

One story deals with cross-dressing and others are translations of Greek and Latin homoerotic texts. Dr Gladfelder the finder of the text said: "This must be the first substantial treatment of homosexuality ever in English. "The only other discussions of homosexuality were contained in violently moralistic and homophobic attacks or in trial reports for the crime of sodomy up to and beyond 1750." Sodomy was a capital offence punishable by death until 1861.

"Homosexuality was illegal in Britain until 1967 and fify years later we lead the World with Civil Partnerships.

Dozens of British gay men are turning to an American IVF programme for two-father families to get around UK laws that prevent surrogacy.
In Britain, it is illegal to pay a surrogate mother or an egg donor. But in LA, gay couples can pay up to £33,000 $66,000 for the unique service.

A woman has appeared in court charged with entering into a civil partnership while already married.If found guilty, She could face up to 7 years in prison. The case is thought to be the first of its kind since civil partnerships became legal in December 2005.

The most senior gay police officer in the UK Brian Paddick is to retire more than a year early.
He is understood to have asked to be allowed to stand down before the end of his current contract. He has completed 30 years' service and will be entitled to a full pension. It is reported that he is going to write a book about his colourful and controversial career at the Met.

It is rumoured that he will be asked to stand for Mayor of London

28th April 2007

Here in the south of England we almost think we are immune from the worst ravages of climatic and seismic condition. Since the Hurricane of 1987 nothing too unexpected has happened in this part of the world. That was until this morning when an Earthquake hit the area around the Dover and the Channel Tunnel this morning.

Homes were evacuated, power was cut and one woman needed hospital treatment this part of Kent were hit by an earthquake measuring about 4.3 on the Richter scale. The emergency services were inundated with calls as the ground shook and buildings were damaged, with cracks and toppling chimneys.

Earthquakes apart, since arriving back in the UK on Wednesday we really have been experiencing exceptionally nice weather, This April has been the hottest for thirty years. This is very evident in the advanced state of the gardens. We arrived back to find our Wisteria in full flower, it looks truly magnificent, and smells divine. Three baby robins are nesting in a flowerpot outside the front door and we have baby moorhens in the pond fountain. England looks truly magnificent at this time of year and this weekend temperatures are expected to soar to 28C in some areas.

It would seem that there is an eleventh-hour review about sending Prince Harry Iraq after all, follows an alarming rise in attacks this year. 11 British personnel have been killed during the last month in the area. Army chiefs fear that a fatal attack on two British soldiers in Iraq last week was a dry run for an attempt on Prince Harry's life, the attack was made on a type of vehicle that the Prince will use, and took place in a part of the country where he is due to be deployed as early as next month.

A new condom campaign is being launched today by Terrence Higgins Trust (THT) to remind gay and bisexual men to Get it On during sex

GET IT ON

26th April 2007

The world is such a silly place, a male stripper in Scotland has been charged with impersonating a policeman after real officers mistook him for one of their own.

Stuart Kennedy, 24, was dressed in his fake uniform outside a bar, when he was spotted by two female plain-clothes officers. The student whose stage name is "Eros" told them he was a stripper and the officers then watched him perform before taking him in for questioning.

His outfit and truncheon were confiscated and he was later charged with impersonating an officer and having an offensive weapon and that was with his clothes on.

"I immediately told the officers I was a stripper but they didn't seem to believe me. They watched the show then they asked me back to the station. Now I have to wait to find out if this is going any further," he said.

Hello, Hello, Hello.

23rd April 2007

Time passes far to quickly in Paradise, no sooner have we arrived than it is time to pack our bags once again and prepare for the Big Bird to get us back "Across The Pond".

It will be sad leaving this time. We have to say "Goodbye" to Atlantic Shores, for years now a lot of our afternoons have been spent down at the Shores sunning our buns, hopefully it will not be goodbye to some of the characters that we have met down there over the years. We hope the loyal staff who have stuck it out to the end will be offered employment at the new complex, whatever form that takes.

We took a final stroll around town this afternoon, just in time to see Larry Harvey on his way to KWEST for his evening refreshment. That man is amazing, cycling past Hemmingway's House during our stay you offer see the famous straw hat bobbing about in the ticket booth.

Another strange sight this afternoon was a pair of feet sticking over the balcony at Banana Cafe, were they real or were they more statues by .Then further on our stroll we came across a cow waiting to be milked.. But this is Key West and you expect the bizarre around every corner.

21st April 2007

It never rains but it pours. Two splendid bits of entertainment in one evening.

It is always a treat to pop along to the "Red Barn Theatre", this dinky little theatre nestles behind the Key West Women's Club on Duval. It may be dinky, but the productions are always larger than life. Last night was no exception, eleven thespians squeeze onto the stage for what was an unusual and very entertaining evening.

We had never heard of the musical "Bat Boy", but apparently it played in New York. Bat Boy played by Spencer Gates, who has shaved his head and added the ears since his recent lead in Urinetown (Sorry we were not in town). Set in West Virginia a creature, part bat and part boy is discovered by local red necks in a West Virginia. Given to the care of the local veterinarian and his wife. The scene with Laurie Brakewell, the vets wife and Bat Boy is very touching and very funny as is the whole performance. The plot twists and turns to a very unexpected conclusion, so get yourself along to the Red Barn and see for yourself.

Gassy Winds was a blast last night at Saloon 1. Not a venue that we frequent frequently but cast caution to the wind and stepped through that dark back passage into the den of iniquity.

The is the third week that Gassy along with that tall Ivana Black has hosted the Cock Shot contest sponsored by Pistol and Enema. The whole P&E team was in attendance, including Pistol and it was midnight, don't think l have ever seen him up so late and still vertical :lol:

We always enjoy amateur strip at KWEST but this gave grow and show a whole new meaning. I think there were eight contestants, but girls you lost count half way through. Gassy is so persuasive in sighing up the boys, and all it takes is for a tall drag queen to fluff the boys up into a performing art form.

Age was not a barrier it ranged from Senior down to Twink and very entertaining he was too.

19th April 2007

Men at Work

The laying of the new sea defence walkway on South Roosevelt has been very swift this week. It is still a bit of an assault course at the top end of the Island but the work seems to be progressing well. Hopefully they will eventually work their way all around the island some of the paving on North Roosevelt is in a terrible state and almost shakes the poor cyclists right out of the saddle.

Wildlife seems unaffect by roadworks a few yards away.

The co-founder of the world's biggest gay online dating agency GAYDAR jumped to his death from an eighth-floor balcony after a night of taking party drug ketamine, an inquest in Britain has heard.

As the pound passed the two-dollar mark this week making US holidays and shopping trips cheaper than ever. The exchange rate puts the pound at its strongest against the dollar since September 1992, and is expected to encourage record numbers of holidaymakers to cross the Atlantic.Travel agents have reported a 30 per cent rise in bookings for American holidays and industry analysts predict it could rise further.

View from Coconut Grove Widow Walk

18th April 2007

I know l have said it before, but never be surprised by what you see on your trips around Key West. This morning was no exception, could it be that there is a new Butt Plug lurking, Yes we spotted what could very well be one. In the same yard we did a double take at a group of men playing cards. Of course on closer inspection it was nothing of the sort but what we assume must be three more statues by celebrated Keys sculptor J. Seward Johnson.

Before we arrived back this trip we thought that some of Mr Johnson's statutes were in place at the Southern Most Point, but it would appear that they either did not materialise or have already been removed.

If you have not been along to his exhibition at the Custom House, then we urge you to do so, it is a magical exhibition.

Custom House Exibition

It was a wonderful day at the Atlantic Shores, the weather was superb, but it was a sad day also realising that by the time we next visit Key West, the shores will no longer be there, where will we lay our tired old bodies then. Any Suggestions.

If you suffer from erectile dysfunction or droopy Willie forget Viagra and pop along to Faustos search the shelves for.

Need l Say More

17th April 2007

The pound hit $2.00 today, This is a fresh 15-year high for the pound and is good news for British tourists but bad news for companies exporting goods overseas. This follows shock inflation news in the UK of 3.1% in March.

It also sadly means that we will see fewer American Tourist in the UK This summer. But what a great opportunity for Brits to travel to Key West, l'm sure the Gay Guest houses will welcome you with open arms this summer.

Key West has settle down after the craziness of Tropical Heat this weekend, it was busy around town, but really feel that some new thinking must go into the event before next year. Just an observation not a criticism you understand.

How very sad to hear about the massacre at the university in the blue mountains of Virginia, it is very troubling times that we live in.

Across the Pond in Brighton, Sunny Sussex will be marking International Day Against Homophobia next month with a seaside event. The city's council has voted to officially recognise IDAHO and will be flying the rainbow flag from the Town Hall.

There will also be a performance by the Rainbow Chorus choir, which is celebrating its 10th anniversary, The highlight of the evening will be the release of 77 visually stunning sky lanterns to represent the 77 countries that still persecute gay people with imprisonment and execution.

A leading English footballer has slammed the lack of support for gay players and questioned why football should be one of the only industries where people cannot be out and proud.

David James, the Portsmouth goalkeeper, wrote in his fortnightly column in The Observer that he has gay friends, but did not reveal if any are other footballers. "Football, it seems, is one of the last professional environments where you can't be out and proud.

15th April 2007

Early morning calls back to the UK this morning, revealed that Brighton was sizzling in 80 degrees of unseasonable sunshine.

It would also appear that all the Sunday press is full of the split between William and Kate Middleton. Apparently the Queen was informed last week and according to a confident of her majesty "The Queen is feeling for them both. She is sad if any hurt has been caused to Prince William or to Kate."

Entering the garden bar at Bourbon this afternoon you though you were entering a smoking inferno, but no it was only Gassy Winds, cooking up a storm, and damned good the burgers were too. However in a matter of minutes the lightening and thunder arrived, Poor old girl had to gather up her bustle and make a run for it. It was the third soaking of the week for Her and Me. And they said there was a water shortage in "The Keys".

When you are five thousand miles away it is very easy to forget what is happening in good old blighty, but last night, Tony Blair addressed gay campaign group Stonewall and said civil partnerships had had a "civilising effect" that reached beyond the gay community. He admitted that watching the first civil partnerships had made him very proud. His celebration of civil partnerships follows the recent House of Lords debate and ultimate support for the Equality Act.

Jamie Bell, now 21, seemed to fade into obscurity after his early success in the film "Billy Elliott", but it would appear that he is due to bounce back when he takes over the staring "Naked " role from Daniel Radcliffe in Equus.

14th April 2007

Tropical Heat, more like Tropical Sweat yesterday. The events kicked off for a festive party at Oasis. We were lucky enough to be shown around the newly renovated Coconut Grove, it is very luxurious and beautifully appointed. It is may years since we were on the Widow Walk and had forgotten what a splendid view of the island you get from those dizzy heights. The stairway is much more gentle now, not quite the climbing expedition of years gone by.

The party got off to a good swing, lots of old and new faces, but what a shame there was not DJ or entertainment of any kind.

From there is was hot foot to the 801 where the Boyz met the Girlz it a drag show with a difference. It was a great event, especially watching the faces of some straight customers when the boyz took off their clothes. It was no holds barred, or should l say all holes bared.

Back to Bourbon in time to catch the end of Porsche, then Saloon One with Gazzy Winds and a hot cock contest.

Just when you thought the evening was over, it was down to The Shores at 2.00 p.m. For an after hours party.

Almost 10 ½ from start to finish. Almost too much for too ageing Queens for the UK.

We heard this afternoon that Prince William and his long-term girlfriend Kate Middleton have parted. The couple, who were widely tipped to marry, decided to split earlier this week, but separated amicably with no one else involved.

13th April 2007

Friday 13th, Lucky for some, well at lease it was third time lucky for us. We managed to cycle around the Island without getting drenched to the skin. The last couple of attempts have ending in something of a wet squib, infact we had to change out of wet clothes twice yesterday and both times were in broad daylight.

It was interesting to see how the sea defence/road improvements are progressing on South Roosevelt. Much of the stretch of walkway by he airport has now been completed, but further around by Key Ambassador to double key resort has now been ripped apart. Hopefully all this work will help to save the island from future flooding.

Tropical Heat kicked off with a welcome party at Big Ruby's last night. Not sure there were quiet as many people there as last year, but nice to see lots of old faces and catch up with some of the gossip. What a pity Naked Twister, turned out to be Tongs and Sarongs Twister, Still the bodies were nice and as the dancers promised all would be revealed later in the evening at Bourbon - It Was !!

Missed the event at Aqua, a girl has to eat sometime, but did venture back out for Black Out at KWEST. What a charming little touch for the dancers to wear little down lighters hanging around their necks. Never did get to see their faces.

What a splendid day it has been, up around the high eighties. This is for the benefit of Phil and Stu, yes boys it would appear that The Shores will still be here for your visit later this month. The final Tea Dance was not the final Tea Dance it would seem, there are going to be a couple more. This is Key West after all.

12th April 2007

"Lucky You", or not so lucky as the case may be. Last time we were in Key West we went along to the Waterfront Playhouse to see a performance of "Lucky You", based on the book by Carl Heissen. It really turned out to be a damp squid, we only stayed for the second half because Cruella was house manager that evening.

So it was with a little trepidation that we ventured down to the Waterfront again last night. You know once bitten twice shy, that sort of thing.

Mark Watson, star of Duelling Bartenders at Aqua and Broadway Three Ways at La Te Da has ventured into the world of Playwright with his first play "The Times". Two young love college sweethearts meet up for the first time in ten years, Noah has never really gotten over Christian , upping sticks and leaving him all those years ago and hopes for a rekindling of old love. He is of course massively disappointed to discover Christian is to marry - a girl. "The Times" is touching, thought rendering and very funny in places, thanks in no little part to Mimi McDonald who plays Noah's house mate. The set is so inspired and lit expertly.

The story twists and turns to an unexpected conclusion. Mark Watson, your first play is a triumph. Had we seen this play in London we would not have been disappointed. To see it in Key West we were delighted. "The Times" has three days left to run at the Waterfront Playhouse.
Don't Miss It.

What a rush, "The Times" was a late start at 8.30 pm, then something quick to eat before a dash to KWEST Men, Goddess Galore was in charge of the Cocks last night. It was the Key West Cock Contest and Duchess and Lulu along with DJ Nathan were esteemed Judges.
It must have a full moon or something, because the cocks were not crowing, poor old Goddess was getting hoarse trying to persuade the boys to drop their drawers in the interest of entertainment. One young man was very keen, but it took quiet sometime for the final cocky pair to come forward and complete the glee some threesome needed to make it into a competition. Of course as Goddess kept reminding us it was completely anonymous. The winner did collect his prize in full view so guess he was so shy after all. It was a bit like a trip down memory lane for Duchess and Lulu, we were Judges along with Pistol at the very first Cock Contest. I seem to remember that BOB was fluffer that evening.

11TH April 2007

Twenty fours hours after rising at the unearthly hour of four in the morning in Sunny Sussex we fall into bed in Tropical Key West, only to be woken a few hours later by torrential rain and wind. The Keys we are told are desperate for rain. Well not whilst we are here thank you very much.

Our flight into Miami was somewhat delayed so it did mean that we got caught up in some of the early evening traffic leaving Miami. The ride down to Key West is always a delight but lacked the wonderful skies that we normally see. The rain was hanging about ready for our arrival.

We always like to walk the streets on arrival, just to see what changed have taken place since our last visit. Although local friends always say little has altered, it invariably has, buildings pulled down, new building springing up, so much quicker that the brick built structures of jolly old England.

What is it about Duval Street restaurants always wanting to rip off tourists. We stopped off at a local eatery overlooking Duval for a snack later in the evening. A glass of wine advertised on the table at $5.50 miraculously appears on the bill as $9.50. Will they never learn.

An early morning stroll found the town fairly quiet, half an hour later we were trotting back after the rain had soaked us to the skin.

We have not been in town for 24 hours and have already heard that The Final Tea Dance was a great evening, but two more final tea dances are already planned. Only in Key West.

Tropical Heat is just around the corner, Kicking off tomorrow night a Big Ruby's Always a good few days entertainment.

Tropical Heat Events

Tropical Heat Pictures 2006

7th April 2007

As with all religious festival, the true meaning often gets caught up in commercialisation. This year "Brits are set to spend a massive £520 million ($988 million) on Easter eggs this year - but many young people don't even know what Easter's all about,"

Decorated Easter eggs predate Easter, and both eggs and rabbits are age-old fertility symbols. The Passover Seder service uses a hard-cooked egg flavoured with salt water as a symbol both of new life at the Temple service in Jerusalem. The Jewish tradition may have come from earlier Roman Spring feasts. The ancient Persians also painted eggs for Nowrooz, their New Year celebration falling on the Spring Equinox.

Old Tosspot - Bold Slasher - Jolly Boys

In the north of England, my childhood home, we would decorate Pace Eggs, traditionally these eggs were boiled in onion skins to obtain a mottled effect. Pace Eggs were part of the Easter Sunday breakfast, but if they weren't eaten they might be used as household ornaments, in various egg-games, or given to bands of performers known as Pace Eggers, who were once a common sight in northern English villages.

In previous centuries, Pace Eggers were groups of locals who toured the villages at Easter enacting The Pace Egging Play. This was a drama that usually involved a character representing St. George, a battle, and an interesting individual known as Old Tosspot. It invariably detailed someone's unfortunate death (in some versions it's St. George, in others it's a Turkish Knight called Bold Slasher) and his subsequent revival by a comic doctor.

The Pace Eggers (alternatively known as Jolly Boys) were variously disguised. Old Tosspot would blacken his face with soot and some players wore masks. All had decorated costumes.

Old Tosspot's job was to collect gifts from the crowd. He carried a woven basket over one arm, and had a long straw tail that was full of sharp pins. He would swing this about, and anyone who tried to grab it would be painfully pricked by the pins. Old Tosspot would encourage the wounded (and any other onlookers) to toss gifts into his basket. Pace Eggs, coins, food, Old Tosspot didn't much care.

When the basket was full enough, the Pace Eggers would begin their Easter Play.

HAPPY EASTER

5th April 2007